oh, i’m sorry… does my son’s glitter make you uncomfortable?

My son has such a tender heart. He has been known to cry at the movie Coraline when he was just 3 years old because he just “loved it so much”. When he found out what hamburgers were, he became visibly distraught and started telling me how cows deserved to roam in the fields and live their life. He draws pictures on the back of his homework with hearts and the word “Mom” above it. He values his friendships so much he often brings his own toys to school to give to them to show his appreciation.

He also loves the color pink. He loves to play dress- up with his sister and pretend he is a princess. Sometimes he puts clips in his hair– hair that he has decided to grow out and with good reason. He has the most amazing, thick red hair you have ever seen. If only we could all be so lucky. His favorite My Little Pony is Pinkie Pie and I cannot tell you how many times I’ve heard the song “Let it Go” because he often pretends he is Elsa. I am told these things make some people uncomfortable. My son is not ashamed of himself in the least but by the way some people talk about him, you would think he ought to be made to feel that way. What’s so funny is that when my daughter, who tends to lean more towards “tomboyish” habits, roughhouses or wears a cowboy hat, she gets praised or complimented for her behavior. It’s “adorable”. Can we please stop placing our children in boxes? They are individuals with unique personalities and just because he is a male doesn’t mean he will automatically like trucks and guns. You are stifling your child when you force them to play with “toys for girls” or “toys for boys”. Here’s a thought: Let them pick out their own toys! Whatever suits their fancy. My son happens to prefer My Little Pony and fake jewelry. It makes him happy so why would I want to step on that? It is harmful to our children to place them in such constrictive boxes in which a girl must be pretty in pink, dainty and not too smart and boys must be rough, tough and never cry. This is what we are teaching our children and we are essentially limiting them from all that they are truly capable of being.

I’ve been told there’s a chance he will be bullied if I don’t protect him. I think if I am not 100% in his corner, then I will be the bully. Why should we focus on HIM getting bullied and not the BULLY? The bully is the one who needs to be corrected, not my son. Let’s work on making those changes happen and teaching our children that their peers can be as different as the colors of the rainbow and that’s part of why life is so beautiful.

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3 responses to “oh, i’m sorry… does my son’s glitter make you uncomfortable?

  • hurdling the “confidence gap” | femininefeministe

    […] their hands in the classroom and be confident in their abilities. I’ve talked about this before in my blog but not putting our children in pretty little gender boxes is also crucial. Encourage […]

  • Lindsey Loree

    The fact you are 100% supportive is awesome, and I commend you. So many parents get uncomfortable when children subvert their gender role. Kids should be free to play however they choose! 🙂

    • thefemininefeministe

      Thank you! It has been the biggest learning experience and I feel like he continues to teach me so much every single day– how to be loving, open minded, understanding… I have grown so much as a person because of him. You are absolutely right! Kids should be able to wander the toy aisles without such an obvious distinction as to where the boy aisle ends and girl aisle begins!

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